As the late evening of November 4th, 2008 faded into the early morning of the 5th, I experienced a level of elation unlike anything I had previously felt. When President Elect Obama spoke that night, I couldn't help but cry tears of hope for all of the world. Tears of healing for all of us who were disillusioned, who were scared, who were out of hope. For the first time in years I could see hope for not only the United States, but for the entire world. I sat in awe as a man stepped onto the world stage and vowed that this tidal wave of change is not even close to over. He reassured that our fight is simply beginning and that we can restore ourselves to all that we have hoped for. That day I regained a hope in the American people. November 4th, 2008 is a day I will remember more than the towers falling, the bombs dropping on Baghdad, and the thousands of innocents who saw there demise at the hands of the American people. Nothing will ever erase what happened, but the morning of November 5th, all over the world, the sun rose and our day had come once again. From London to Tokyo, Kabul to Sydney, Capetown to Moscow and everywhere in between people were waking up and turning on their televisions to see that this is not the world they had fallen asleep in the night before. People woke up smiling, subtly, to themselves knowing that soon it will not only all end, but with that dawn emerged a new beginning. In the streets of Omaha, New York, Chicago, all across this nation and inside my soul people were dancing. People who see the promise of an energized electorate and a disallusioned American. On November 4th an America emerged from the shifting darkness and started back on the road to America that you and I can both be proud to call home. For the first time in years I will proudly say that I am an American. Finally, I am proud to call myself a patriot for the first time in my life.

on my way.

if you think it hard enough, it really will happen. good or bad, up or down. three years ago i decided to die. it didn't take long. everything changed. my parents moved away, i changed up the friends and girlfriends, and i completely altered all my goals (or got rid of them). it wasn't exactly a conscious decision, i just thought it was a passing down sort of way to spend the days. sitting drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, watching life pass me by and claiming that i was living. well, at first i kidded that i was dead, but quickly realized i was lying about it. then it happened. i should have eaten my words before they ever escaped my mouth. i lived through the songs, the books, the words of others. the stories that said so much about life experience, so much about being free, so much about doing it a different way. i spent the nights with the needle pressing on the saddle creek 50 and tipping back absolute from a dirty water glass. i wanted to fall in love so i could fall out of love. i wanted to run away, i wanted to drop out, i wanted to be a rebel. i wanted to play rock and roll, i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and dance in the rain. i forced myself through the other things, the mind alteration that it would take to be able to talk to the more learned "individuals" with confidence. i faked my way through everything, i lied, i cheated, i stole. not for personal gain, for the ability to be able to say i had done it. i threw away thousands of dollars on driving to shows, buying equipment, pressing cds and making t-shirts. i drove fast just to break the law. i stayed up all night for days on end when all i wanted was to sleep, just so i could tell people during the day that i stayed up all night. i drank thirty cups of coffee just so i could see people as they walked through the row, just so i could tell them that i had drank thirty cups of coffee. i used to hate the taste of coffee. i used to hate the bands i went to see. i used to hate everything i claimed to love.

it's all over now. it broke through. i have no idea when it happened. well, maybe i do, but that is a subject of great debate in my mind currently. i realized what i want. i realized what it takes to get it. i realized that i'm on my way.