havoc.

today i feel like wreaking havoc, like i would love to destroy everything in sight. no, not due to anger, not due to malice, just for the pure and utter joy that destruction can bring.
it feels as though the entire world is a freshly finished painting, left to dry on the easel as the painter slumbers, dreams of contentedness swimming between her ears as she slumbers undisturbed in the next room over.
i want to sneak in and rework the canvas, no, not with brushes. with bottles of ammonia, with fingers strapped up with razor blades, carving and spraying until it all runs and frays.
i want to find a man on the street. sharp dressed for a night on the town, all mother of pearl buttons and sterling silver cuff-links. i would raise my voice from across the littered pavement scene, forgoing broken bottles, crumpled marlboro soft-packs, and discarded steel reserve tall-boys, running through the heavy summer night. my breath would come harder, but it wouldn't show until after he had fled or the fists had flown. then i would sputter and cough, losing a little bit of the blackness that coats the insides of my throat.
maybe this is malintention, maybe this is the seed of evil. to me, i just want to feel alive today. trapped in the commuter lane 60 mile an hour construction zones, chained to a wrought iron desk, it gets easy to lose your head. sucked dry of energy and inspiration just in time to rush home and charge a camera battery, a cell phone, a laptop computer.
really, right now i want to ruin someone's day. not to hurt them, but to make them see what i see. a world full of unfair action, unintentional movement, unwarranted malice. i want them to see that we have all become trapped inside our routines, prisoners to our social classes. i need to show someone that things can change oh so quickly. with the pull of a match, with a touch on the cheek, from a fire on a hillside to the bum in the streets; something, somewhere needs to happen.
i want to be the synapse that fires. i need to become a catalyst, a vehicle to mayhem and a bringer of pain.

maybe i should just take a chill pill or join the wwe.