reread.

i have been spending so much time with my studies this semester. reading and rereading passages from text books, because i can never seem to grasp the concept the first time through. this has been especially true in my ethics class. the thoughts of aristotle, plato, immanuel kant, and most recently ayn rand have been all swirling in my head, polluting my thoughts.

each night i sit down and carefully read through the passages penned by these great thinkers and struggle to care in the slightest. even ayn rand, a personal favorite, couldn't captivate my train of thought for longer than a few miles. i just read and reread until my mind goes blank, attempting to learn the lessons that are required of me.

maybe it isn't me, there is a great deal of outside force taking precedence in my life right now. a full slate of classes, an occupying job, an editorship on a newspaper, running the changing times and writing music for a new project are all constantly weighing down my shoulders these days.

i derive great joy from all of these pursuits, and looking from someone else's shoes into my own life, i am pleased with what i see. a year ago, my slate of activities included grocery shopping at the dollar tree, watching pulp fiction several times, skipping classes and making rap music in fruity loops. i can pleasantly look at myself and with astonishment realize that i have taken the right steps to be not only back on track, but ahead of many others who were there all along.

i am painstakingly wading through the looming decisions, attempting to make a decision as to where i should next pack up and move to. i want to find an environment where i can be successful, content, interested and productive.

over the past week i attended the iowa newspaper association's conference at the des moines marriot on the west end of downtown. there i decided that i will not go to drake. i met several individuals from the program, and all though they are all interesting and successful people, i am now certain that i would not enjoy myself in that setting.

i still hold a great love for our capital city, the easy pace paired with bustling traffic keep me both at ease and in good spirits. there are so many things that spark my interest from the vibe of court avenue all the way up to the cool kids hanging at the haunted basement. des moines is a city i can be comfortable in while still encouraging positive changes within myself.

with drake out of the question, grand view has recently been added to my short list of possibilities. i met the head of their journalism program at the conference, and he seemed intent on selling me on grand view. i would be able to major in graphic journalism, which would make me a more viable contender in today's tough newspaper industry, another concern that has been weighing on my thoughts as of late.

i have now applied, and once i am accepted, i will take a long hard look at things. i have no desire to live on campus, and with grand view only ten blocks from the corner of sixth and corning, i would be able to live close to good shows and good people.

i will have to see how it develops.

oh, yeah, and there are girl problems, concerns, and other atrocities that i have no interest in thinking about let alone writing about at the moment.

listening to -

"never went to church" - the streets (the hardest way to make an honest living)

"lesson learned" - ray lamontange (till the sun turns black)

....a bunch more ray lamontange on shuffle.