addict.

i have grown addicted to it.
as a child, i only saw others use.
marveling at the effects.
their feet moving fast.
their heads in the clouds.
speeding by without care or consequence.
then, i grew older.
i got my first taste as a child of 14.
reeling from that unmatched high.
i almost took out a mailbox on my first day.
now i am an addict.
spending loose change and crumpled bills.
looking for a fix.
something to ease my mind.
when i run low, i panic.
thoughts racing to refill my supply.
then, when restored, it all goes so quickly.
i burn through it with little thought of consequence.
until i'm left searching once again.
they say it's killing me slowly.
i do not doubt that fact.
it has been killing everyone for years.
it's the stuff that causes war.
puts holes in the sky.
business men locking up their own share of the supply.
but i will fight them tooth and nail.
because my fix comes first.
my needs are the most important.
all these supply and demand economics.
driving up prices in the blackest of markets.
just so i can turn the key.
hear the v-8 spit and tremble.
as my head rolls back and i know:
i am an addict.
this black gold crisis is getting to me.