festering and rotten

how many words escape one's mouth through the course of a lifetime that are suddenly something devolved from the original thought that sparked the intention behind them? out of the blue the immediate reaction is apoligetic and remorse filled, but the ax has been swung, the incision made. no matter how many times the midnight oil is burned or suns set, somehow those words echo more than the complementary or meaning filled syllables. this is the founding factor in so many guilt ridden headcases and elementary level cat fights that rob us of our purest relationships. so many times have i eaten my words, like a wolf over some carcass, only to find the festering flesh is going to destroy not only myself, but those that i care about. no matter what has happened, as the get up kids put it so elegantly so many years ago, there's no need for reminding, you're still all that matters to me. this is a realization i came to long ago, and it rings as bell across a fresh blanket of snow through the countryside. it is a sign of the times, and that nothing has changed. you are still ringing inside my skull. the revirberations are deafening, but the silence is deadly. you are my only drug, you are my last elixer, and the final dose is wearing thin.