wolves descend so fast on sunny days

this is an empty nonfleeting feeling. i've been knocked to the canvas again. i'm hurt right now. wolves descend so fast on sunny days, there no longer fear the light and hide in the shadows. fuck insomnia. i left myself vulnerable and right now i feel as though it was all for nothing. words escape me. i just feel like crying, for a long time, just because it might make me feel better. i'm a fucking wreck. not even an hour ago i was content, smiling, hoping, and confident. it has slipped through my hands like grain through the hands of a harvester. fuck trust. fuck vulnerability. fuck laying yourself on the line. fuck hope. fuck feeling empty. fuck nicotine. fuck feeling whole. fuck dreaming. fuck forgetting. fuck anything that matters. right now your smile could make it better, but you have no interest in showing it to me. fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck times a million, the only thing playing on repeat through my head and running through my brains. you have broken my trust, and it hurts.