spinning.

i was supposed to work, making announcements for everyone to hear. you decided to show up, watch all the festivities with a trace of cheap vodka on your breath.
you walked in late, and i tried not to stare. i just wanted to actually see you with a perceptiveness that i haven't been able to grasp since when i had the heart to fall in love. the ability to feel like i could all those months ago in the burnt red room as the album leaf turned on the phonograph.
that night i did. you walked in at the chills sped up and down my spine, the lights shimmered in the gold of your scarf. it was intoxicating and distracting in the most elegant way.
she walked in and i snapped out of my stuttering, a chill went down my spine. then i saw you laughing across the gymnasium. once again, it melted away, it no longer mattered. your smile is worth so many more glares then she could ever give.
the nights events ended rather conclusively, and we went to eat. after the waiter took our orders, we kept sneaking out to the car to smoke parliments and take pulls of cheap vodka in the backseat. you vented all of your frustrations with everything: other boys, other nights, and quickly failing dreams. i simply listened, encapsulated in the way you formed your words and lost in the way our eyes met.
eventually, we left the car, and after eating, we left the restaurant and went our separate ways. i went and bought more cigarettes, you rushed ahead to the party we were both hoping would be more fun than awkwardness.
i arrived before you had gone in the door. simply collegiate drinking games were won and lost as the hours burned out slowly. more pulls, more cigarettes, and more simple conversation. as we both started to slightly slur, we found the words coming easier, the motions more fluid.
we left then, together. we drove downtown, the lights in this midwestern city not painting as glamorous a skyline as some, but for the time it was all we would ask for. we found our way to the dilapidated offices of ingersoll water company and cracked the door. isaac was sitting quietly on the couch, lost somewhere between a summer ale and an abstract drawing. the conversation became a series of echos, words on a slide, played in the same quick sequence. we slipped in and out of the doors, in and out of each others arms.
after we had finished our drinks, and then pouring the more ambitious seconds into the lawn, we got back in the car and started to drive.
"take me on an adventure."
i had no idea where that could be. we ended up heading west aways until we found a well-trodden beach. we stood inches from the still waters, wrapped in a blanket, cloaked in each other's arms. that is when the world stopped for me, but i can't stop spinning.