the point where we will grow gills or drown

i awoke this morning to watch the world be slowly cloaked inside a pretentious gown of white. slowly fluttering from the omnipotent skies it trailed on for the greatest expanse ever known to human thought or reflection. optimism used to entice these veins with the dawning of each new day, a wealth of possibilities to be endured and chanced upon. now there is just a sense of slowly churning dread. it as though i am constantly waking up in a dream, but not the normal vision where things are possible, no, this dream is consistantly marred by the restrictions of this earthly cross. every day that the calendar turns, every second that ticks off the clock, it grows ever more evident what a failure i am becoming. i have almost spent two decades walking these simple paths, and i am beginning to realize that they never lead out of these foothills, not a venue to the western mountains or the crystalized sea in the east. the extroadinary thing is, all though i realize this simple, ringing, truth, i am always trying to decipher a way around it. there is no escape, there is no glory like we witness on the film's silver screen, there is just the present. there is just this set of unvariable circumstances that are constantly forcing our heads underwater to the point where we will grow gills or drown. i'm not feeling very fishy at this current juncture in time. everything is stuck in this cyclical revolution, where the ideas on men's tongues overshadow the daft skill of their hands, we are a generation of lost dreamers, and we will give away the world for a chance at the things those before us were promised and found. a kindred heart, a steady pay check, and a delayed trip to the grave. i want none of this. i want to embark across the many fruited plains of this continent and find a place where this midwestern weather won't get stuck inside my skin, a place where the stars are an open invatation to dream. not of fortune, fame, or foolish men's dreams, no, but to dream of the things that are immediate, to dream of where you are, for your mind can not ponder a place of greater magnitude or grandure. so we will dream with open eyes and half filled hearts.