half way gone and nowhere close.

with the new year rapidly approaching i decided to dream up some goals that i would attempt to accomplish before the year closed. we are just beyond the half-way point, and i think that i am making little progress. here is an update on each of these goals.

1. stay in love, and be content with that

in december i was in love with hannah may gjersvik. that has long since been done due to malcontent. the distance was partially to blame, as was circumstance. currently i am looking for nothing involving love or anything related.

2. manage to get back into shape

at the time of writing i meant through careful discipline and hard work that i intended to get back into shape. i did manage to lose upwards of thirty pounds to this point, it was not from anything resembling determination. the wares of poverty took their toll along with my health and waste line. this was not the worst trade i have ever made. that involved hot wheels cars and a batmobile replica when i was seven.

3. play shows as much as humanly possibly, while balancing everything else out.

this seems to have been the kiss of death. i played several shows immediatly before the new year with cowboys in an attempt to get the band back together but that fizzled out eventually before the champagne on new year's eve. to date this year i have practiced with lots of acts but not played a show. i toured with colonizer which was a good time but not the same as playing on tour. the converse to this all would be that i have balanced things out, and maybe i should just recognize that the creative process takes an all consuming mindset, and that has to be the balance, not something to be balanced.

4. hit the west coast like a tropical storm.

failure. however, i will be going to visit merced in march, with a plane ticket all ready booked. that will be on next years list, perhaps rephrased, but still the same objective.

5. find some source of stable income.

completed, i now have three jobs, which are keeping me busy, providing a steady check into my savings, and preparing me for the freedom of next summer when i plan on knocking out a list of goals.

6. kiss someone in the snow, in the rain, and in the street.

i kissed someone in the snow, right after the new year. i kissed someone in the rain this summer, and both occurances were in the street. however, i meant one person, so this goal is as fulfilled as it will be.

7. write a record i can be proud of.

hopefully by the new year it will be done. worked on it some this morning, and i have the first five writtenish. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that i will keep it going.

8. wear a bathrobe for some amount of time every day.

everyday goals are difficult. i have spent a sizeable amount of time in a bathrobe, i even added a second to my collection, but it still has not been everyday.

9. stabilize my relationships, cut out the highs and lows.

successfull in many, still polarized in a few. i do think that all of my relationships have found some level of stabalization, it's just that some of them have found a stable low.

10. put my feet in both oceans.

next year. honestly.

11. go to fenway and wrigley, the two remaining chapels of america's greatest game.

failure. mission aborted.

12. dream, write, express, all while being mindful of other people.

i have greatly improved with this but there is still pleanty of room for improvement. i still have long periods of time where i don't write, but they are seeming to become less and less frequent. i have gained a much better view of myself which has reflected on my world which makes me more mindful.

13. watch the sky.

success. to no avail thus far, soon there will be a sign.



five down, and several to go. next years goals will be greater. they will be harder, yet at the same time i have a better plan and have been more careful in the inception.