lost in the night once again.

i'm feeling empty. content, but empty. i can feel the long winter depression setting in early this year. i don't want to eat. i don't want to sleep. i don't want to do anything but be left alone, forever. i can't find anything that i really want in life. i've been searching for years now, but i've come up with absolutely nothing. i have found charms and medications which, once uttered or ingested, help pass from one day to the next, but never, ever, provide a permanent solution. before when things like this would set in, i would blame "her." whoever it happened to be at that point in time would be why i was so down. now, i realize that it never was her, it was just the fact that i have no reason to be unhappy, i just simply am. i'm lost in the night once again.